


And You'll Come Back to Me

by thepessimist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Kitchen Sex, Knight AU, M/M, in front of my salad, the usual ennotana stuff, trying to kill each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-01-30 08:11:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12649602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepessimist/pseuds/thepessimist
Summary: Ennoshita is a kitchen boy, Tanaka is a knight, and everything that could possibly go wrong does.





	1. Not as Proper

**Author's Note:**

  * For [glitch_writes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitch_writes/gifts).



> This was supposed to be Mel's birthday present last year, but now it's more of a thank you. So thank you Mel.

The light streaming through the window was still rather white when Ennoshita woke up. A heavy weight across his chest and a chill at his toes lured him out of his, admittedly, restless slumber. Narita was hogging the blanket and Kinoshita still hadn’t learned how to stay in his own space; not that there was much room to begin with.

Holding in a bit of a whine, Ennoshita slowly removed himself from Kinoshita’s grip, placing his arm on Narita’s face instead. And just to be a jackass, he stuck Kinoshita’s finger up Narita’s nose. Hopefully that would teach the both of them about sleep etiquette, though they never would. Five years in and they still were dicks when Ennoshita was trying to get some sleep and he let them, with only the tiniest bit of fondness.

He wouldn't be able to sleep anyways. It was always the same no matter if he was alone or in a-bit-too-warm cuddle pile. Ennoshita’s brain would never shut up. It was a problem he had since he was a kid and his mother would tuck him in, all wrapped up with an extra quilt, but Ennoshita could do nothing but stare blankly at the ceiling, counting the wooden panels until exhaustion finally set in.

It wasn’t much of a problem now (besides the fact Ennoshita constantly felt dead inside) because now Ennoshita would always be up to help Daichi get the kitchen started and always out late to help Suga clean it up. He would try to take breaks throughout the day, at the other workers insistence, but his body wouldn’t-couldn’t- sit still and so he ended up working himself bare, until his knuckles were locking and knees giving. His brain, still, would not shut up.

Ennoshita looked to his left as he finished changing into his day clothes. Even in the small amount of light the dusty window allowed he could see the space Daichi usually occupied was empty, the sheets pushed around Suga, who was pretty much dead to the world. His shoes were gone too, meaning he was already getting to work downstairs.

With a sigh and one last rub to his eyes, he got even less sleep last night than usual, Ennoshita decided it was also time for him to make his way down to the kitchen. He crept past more tangled lumps, careful not to step on any wayward limbs, and took time to slowly close the door to not make a sound. His effort was fruitless as it creaked anyway. The most movement he heard from the other side was some shifting and a loud snore (courtesy of Yamaguchi) so he deemed that he hadn't disturbed his companions much with his morning routine.

Feeling a sudden sense of urgency as he was bathed in silence and darkness when the door closed, Ennoshita practically ran down the stairs, not wanting to be in the creepy hallway for long. He bursts through the kitchen door and was met with the warmness of the stove, already slow cooking something or other, and Daichi’s barking laugh.

“You know the hallway isn’t actually haunted,” He said, handing Ennoshita an apron almost immediately. The corner of his eyes were doing the annoyingly endearing crinkle thing. “No matter how many times Suga tells you that.”

“But he swore he saw the devil himself,” Ennoshita played along as he tied on his apron and then wiggled his hands above his head. “Horns and everything!”

Daichi let out another laugh. “Well, maybe he just saw his own reflection.” His expression suddenly went stern and Ennoshita could feel the individual vertebrae in his back straighten on command. “Now, enough fun. Get to choppin’. We got newbies comin’ in today.”

Ennoshita let out the most dramatic sigh he could muster. It was going to be a long day.

 

* * *

 

"Look sharp Ennoshita," Daichi said, slapping Ennoshita on the back and right out of his thoughts. "We need you on deck for the meal, not the dishes. Give it to one of the first years."

Ennoshita just sighed and nodded. Daichi could always tell when he was slacking and trying to avoid the hard work. He didn't slack often because he loved to cook and took any chance to do it. It was just some days the kitchen was too crowded, the voices too loud, and Ennoshita was just too tired to deal with it all. Today was one of those days.

Instead of hiding in a corner and reorganizing his personal spice collection like he wanted to, Ennoshita put on his best smile and directed the younger kitchen workers on how to properly handle the roast pig. It was going fine until one of them got a little too carried away with their carving and stabbed right through Ennoshita's left pinky.

"I'm sorry Ennoshita-san!" Yamaguchi sobbed, trying to help Ennoshita wrap a towel around his hand and instead just tripping over his own two feet. Thankfully for Yamaguchi his fall was cushioned. Unfortunately for Ennoshita the cushion was his body.

"It’s ok, it's fine," Ennoshita tried to soothe the other boy from over more of his hurried apologies. When that didn't seem to work he raised his voice. "Yamaguchi," he said firmly. The boy looked down at him with wide nervous eyes as if he was just waiting to get screamed at. Ennoshita just closed his eyes and sighed. "First, get off of me. You're crushing my rib." That sent Yamaguchi into a new frenzy, scrambling off Ennoshita quickly with more apologies under his breath. Ennoshita looked sadly at the younger boy. He looked like he was about to cry if Ennoshita even raised his voice a little.

_You and me both, kid._

So Ennoshita tried to give him a comforting smile and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "You're fine, ok?" He said reassuringly. "I'm fine. I've had worse." Ennoshita gave a small laugh, when he saw Yamaguchi's expression soften up a bit as he gave one last sniff. "Besides it's my left pinky. I don't even need that anyway." Yamaguchi cracked a smile at that.

_There ya go; that's what I'm looking for._

Ennoshita rubbed at his shoulder as he asked "You good?" Yamaguchi nodded in response and Ennoshita smiled brightly at him. "Good now let's get back to this guy."

The rest of the pig marinating and carving went without a hitch, meaning there were no loss of limbs, which was a victory in Ennoshita's book. By the end of it his pinky was even feeling a little bit better, or at least that's what he told Yamaguchi. It still hurt like a bitch. That's why as soon as he had a little bit of a break, he hid away, trying to wrap it up properly. Blood and food was a big no no.

As soon as he took a seat though, Daichi was calling for him again.

"Ennoshita!" He yelled from across the kitchen, waving him over. With a sigh, he stood up warily and made his way to Daichi.

"You called?" He asked as he approached the chef.

"Yes." He looked as busy and distracted as Ennoshita's mind felt. "Remember I need you on serving duty too; Tsukishima is out sick."

Ennoshita sighed. He was doing that quite a lot today. With slumped shoulders he picked up the platter Daichi had thrust out at him. "Plate it up nice n' pretty."

"Like you," Suga appeared behind Ennoshita and hip checked him into the counter.

"Suga," Ennoshita whined. "Stop saying stuff like that it's embarrassing."

"I can't help it if it's true," Suga said with a wink. "Isn't that right Daichi?"

Daichi rolled his eyes at Suga's antics, but apparently was in a good enough mood to play along anyway and cracked a big smile as he nodded. "Yes, of course."

He reached out to ruffle up Ennoshita's hair as Suga pinched one of his cheeks cooing, "Who's my pretty boy?" By now Ennoshita was used to the kitchen staff's strange behavior and just endured it silently, face pinched into a scowl.

"Now go out there and be pretty somewhere else," Daichi ordered, giving a small pat to the side of his head. Ennoshita knew his hair was a complete mess now but wasn't all that bothered by it. "They're already seated and we're behind."

As Ennoshita walked away with a final wave in their general direction he heard Suga tease one last time, "Frowning causes wrinkles!" And Ennoshita decided it wasn't worth a response. Instead he made his way over to the serving station, where the prepared food was already being plated up by two other servers.

"Kinoshita, Narita," Ennoshita greeted with a nod, "You're on serving duty too?"

"Yup," they responded simultaneously, turning around at the sound of Ennoshita's voice. When they caught site of Ennoshita's appearance, red face and mussed up hair, Kinoshita's face split into wide grin.

"You still crushing on both Daichi and Suga?" He asked, pulling at a particularly wayward strand of hair. "It's ok. I understand. It's hard to choose."

"Personally, I would go for Daichi," Narita inputted as he fixed the angle of some grapes, "Suga always seems like he's scheming something."  
Ennoshita batted Kinoshita's hand away. "I'm not crushing on either of them."

“Lighten up Chikara!” Kinoshita laughed. “We’re just joking around.”

“Lighten up?” Ennoshita asked. He held up his left hand. “Today I got stabbed. You lighten up.”

That just made them laugh harder.

“First years?”

Ennoshita nodded and was met with more laughter and a half hearted pat on the back from Narita.

“It’ll all be ok,” he said as Kinoshita bent down and kissed his pinky. “See all better.”

Before Ennoshita could come up with more sass, Daichi was barking again. “Hey! Stop slacking over there!”

He couldn’t help but flush and hurriedly pick up a platter with a “Yes sir!”

“No crush my ass,” Kinoshita whispered, picking up his own plate.

Ennoshita shot him a glare and with a huff walked out the door. His demeanor changed immediately when he entered the dining area. Back straight, eyes forward, and no sign of any emotions, Ennoshita was the perfect blank slate. An invisible statue, searching for the smallest of cues to wait on hand and foot.

The set up was different then he was used to. Usually there was just the head table. Maybe another small one for guests from neighboring kingdoms and one more for the king’s advisors. Now though, there were two long tables both occupied by the loudest group of people Ennoshita ever had the displeasure to encounter.  
He took a deep breath. _Showtime._

They moved like clockwork, gliding around the tables, serving up the first course smoothly. It was going smoothly. Ennoshita had one last plate to serve, but as he went to set it down the particularly obnoxious knight he was serving swung his hand back suddenly. The dish went tumbling down and the soup all over Ennoshita’s freshly washed shirt. The knight turned around to see who he hit and looked rather unapologetic when he saw it was a simple servant.

“Oh, _oops_ ,” he said, giving Ennoshita a once over. When Ennoshita blinked at him blankly, he cracked a smile and opened his mouth to start what was sure to be an extremely sincere apology. Ennoshita didn’t even let him begin; he had rather enough bull shit for today.

“I’ll get you another,” he said, sharply turning around and practically running back into the kitchen. Once he was safely behind the door, Ennoshita punched the wall next to him, forgetting that his pinky was in pieces.

“Ow, fuck,” he yelped, cradling his hand as Daichi approached him.

“Bad day?” he asked, taking a look at Ennoshita’s hand.

“The worst.”

“Can you still serve with that? You don-”

“It’s fine! I’m fine,” Ennoshita cut him off, trying to salvage what little pride was left for him. He wasn’t about to be babied by Daichi. “I can still serve.”

“Ok if you’re sure.” Daichi didn’t look entirely convinced but he respected Ennoshita’s decision. “Here at least switch shirts with me. You can’t go out there like that.”

Daichi’s shirt was entirely too big on him, but at least it was clean. Ennoshita had to appreciate the fact that his was way too small on Daichi, his muscles stretching the fabric to its max. Maybe he should thank the knight for spilling the soup on him.

Your crush is showing, a voice in his head said that sounded a lot like Kinoshita.

“Hurry before that gets cold too,” Daichi said, nodding at the extra bowl of soup.

“Oh right.” Ennoshita momentarily forgot that he was on the clock and there was no time for muscle appreciation, unfortunately. He picked up the platter again and with a last thank you to Daichi he was back in the dining hall.

He got about two feet into the room when he bumped into something extremely solid causing him to drop the platter yet again, though thankfully this time none of it got on him.

“Oh sorry,” A gruff voice said as Ennoshita tried to salvage the broken pieces of the soup bowl. “Lemme help ya with that.” Before Ennoshita could look up and say thank you, the person stepped on his pinky in the rush to help.

Tears stung at Ennoshita’s eyes as he jumped up and away from the person.

“Oh shit,” he said coming closer to Ennoshita, “Are you okay?”

He looked up prepared to assure the man he was ok until he got a good look at his face. It was-

“You.” Ennoshita glared accusingly, backing himself up into a corner, trying to get as far away as possible from the human embodiment of a disaster.

The other man tilted his head to the side and blinked at him, confused (and a little cute). “Me?” he said pointing at his chest.

“You.” Ennoshita nodded. When the other man still looked confused he continued. “You spilled soup on me earlier.”

The man at least had the decency to look embarrassed as he scratched the back of his neck. “Oh yeah, sorry about that,” he apologized, eyebrows scrunching in concern. “That’s actually why I was comin’ over here. To see if you were ok.”

“Well, I’m fine,” Ennoshita huffed, even though he was definitely not fine; all thanks to that dumbass. He looked back down at the broken bowl. “Though your soup is not. I’ll get you another,” turning around to once again get another appetizer.

“Oh no it’s fine.” The knight stopped Ennoshita with a strong grip on his shoulder. He turned back around to give him a pointed look. The other man chuckled. “I tried some from Noya and it was kinda crap anyway.”

Just when Ennoshita was going to give this guy a second chance, he decides to be a giant dick. He gave him his best sickly sweet smile, teeth grinding together.

“Really?” Ennoshita asked, hands balled tightly behind his back. He watched the other man nod along enthusiastically, ready for the final blow. “It’s my recipe.”

Ennoshita had never seen anyone pale so quickly.

“I-I meant- I didn’t-”

He held up hand, trying to suppress a grin as the seemingly cockly knight crumbled. “Now would be a good time to walk away.”

“Ok,” He said rather dumbly, walking backwards. “I’m just gonna-”

Ennoshita hummed, “You do that.” He turned back around, not waiting for another response from the idiot and reentered the kitchen, a plan already forming in his head.

“And what are you all smiley about?” Ennoshita looked to his right to find Kinoshita and Narita with equally stupid grins.

“Nothing,” Ennoshita sang, as he immediately made a beeline towards the wine rack.

“We saw you chattin’ up one of the knights.” Ennoshita could hear the smugness dripping from Narita’s voice.

“I was not chatting him up,” he said, bending down in search of an empty bottle. “He was commenting on my cooking skills, actually.” He found what he was looking for and brought it up next to the wine they were serving with the main course. “And I am just-” He popped open a bottle and poured half its contents into the empty one, “-thanking him.”

“And what do you think you’re doing?” Daichi asked sternly. Ennoshita didn’t even need to give a glance up to know that his arms were crossed tightly and his face was pinched into a scowl.

“I was just volunteering myself to serve the wine!” He responded enthusiastically, flashing a rather maniacally smile at Daichi, before grabbing a bottle of vinegar and taking the cap off with a little too much force.

“Ennoshita,” He said warning, a single eyebrow raised. Ennoshita knew he was in dangerous territory, but he had about fifteen minutes of sleep and had even less fucks to give. He was going through with it.

“Yes?” He blinked innocently up at the head chef, who just glared back harder. He opened his mouth, for what Ennoshita was sure would be some sort of generic scolding, when Suga, the angel, decided to walk in.

“Hey, what’s the hold-” He spotted the bottle in Ennoshita’s hand and burst into a fit of giggles. “Have we finally broke him?” Suga asked excitedly, turning to Kinoshita and Narita.

“It looks like it,” Kinoshita said solemnly.

Daichi looked around baffled and then pointed at Ennoshita accusingly. “You were the last good one!”

“Daichi.” Suga patted him on the back comfortingly. “You knew this day would come. Just let it happen.” He gleefully watched Ennoshita fill the rest of the wine bottle with vinegar, while all Daichi could do was gape. “And besides, whoever this is happening to probably deserves it.”

“He definitely does,” Ennoshita agreed, corking up his newly made concoction. “He insulted my mother’s recipe.”

“No!” Suga gasped dramatically. “In that case you should definitely soak some fish entrails in there. I have some saved for important circumstances.”

“ Ugh! Suga, that's so gross!”

Ennoshita's nose scrunched up in agreement. "No thanks maybe next time. I'll just go with this for now," he said, pointing at his bottle.

"Suit yourself." Suga shrugged, turning back to the stove.

 Daichi narrowed his eyes at Ennoshita one last time. "If you get caught, I didn't see any of this." He gestured to the mess that was surely about to unfold, and also went back to work.

Ennoshita loaded up the serving cart, carefully placing the bottles "randomly" to appear as casual as possible. He looked up when he was finished to find Kinoshita and Narita staring at him expectantly. "Well, wish me luck," he said pushing the cart towards the door.

"Don't die."

"I hope you get caught."

He rolled his eyes at their responses as he pushed through the entrance and once again entered the dinning hall. Despite his cool demeanor in the kitchen, Ennoshita felt his stomach flip as soon as he stepped in. It felt as though all eyes were on him, like everyone knew what he was planning to do. But then he remembered, he's just a servant, completely invisible to the the naked eye. And with that in mind he strutted up to the table and began pouring, careful to avoid _the bottle_ , until the time was right.

Ennoshita ended up serving the target knight last, who was distracted as Ennoshita leaned over to dramatically fill his glass with the wine mixture, backing away from the table slowly as to not draw attention to himself. He situated in the back corner, where he had the perfect vantage point to watch the knight make an absolute ass of himself. From here Ennoshita watched him laugh along with his friends, and he decided that the knight was cute, when he wasn't using his mouth to speak.

The king raised his glass and the hall went quiet as he rambled on about bravery, taxes, and other bullshit that Ennoshita definitely cared about. And finally the rest toasted his speech and drank to it. Ennoshita couldn't keep the grin off his face as silence, once again, encompassed the hall until-

_PFFFTTTTTT._

It was the most beautiful sound Ennoshita had ever heard. He watched as the royal court and all of the knights looked at the offender who had just sprayed half the table with wine and his own spit.

"Is there something wrong with my wine selection?"

The knight when still as he was directly addressed by the king. "No sir," he stuttered back. "I just sneezed, sire. It's delicious, your majesty." He took another exaggerated gulp and Ennoshita had to give him props for not wincing. The king merely raised an eyebrow and turned his attention back to his meal, cuing everyone to do the same. Ennoshita let out a tiny giggle as the knight attempted to do some sort of bow as he was sitting down when the king turned away. A tiny giggle, that no one could have heard, but somehow the knight's gaze locked on to Ennoshita. He couldn't help but smirk and wave.

They maintained eye contact as the knight lifted his glass and downed it in one go. Ennoshita's jaw clenched as the knight mock toasted him.

_It was so on._

 

* * *

 

Ennoshita was always the last one in the kitchen, as he liked to test out new recipes with the leftover ingredients of the day and with the silence around him it was much easier to concentrate. Cooking was a delicate art in need of time and attention. He only ever had enough of them when everyone else was asleep. Well, except for tonight.

He was bustling around, trying to perfect his mother's apparently crap soup recipe, when he heard the door creak open and the chair they kept in front of it knock over.

"Shit!"

Ennoshita whipped around to find _the knight_.

'What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ennoshita answered his question with another. "I work here."

"Yeah, but it's like two in the morning," he responded, scratching at the back of his head. "What are you, making the king a midnight snack?"

"Of course," Ennoshita said, ladling the soup into a bowl, "It's my disgusting soup. Helps him sleep."

The knight flushed at that comment and sighed, "Look I did'n-"

"Save it," Ennoshita interrupted, waving him off. "And tell me why you're here."

He blushed even harder and mumbled something incoherent.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"I said-" Ennoshita could hear his teeth grinding together. "I couldn't keep anything down because _someone_ but vinegar in my wine."

He let out a barking laugh. "You didn't have to drink it, you idiot."

"Yes I did!" The knight insisted, banging his fist against the counter then pointing at Ennoshita. "Or you would have won."

"I won anyway because you were stupid enough to drink it all." Ennoshita smirked and leaned against the table casually and added, "Idiot."

"That's a cute nickname you've got going for me, but it's actually Tanaka."

"Oh is it?" He teased, leaning in closer. "Are you sure?"

Tanaka stepped closer too, only inches between them, but neither noticed, too caught up in whatever fucked up flirting they were doing.

"Uh huh." Ennoshita swore he saw Tanaka's eyelids lower. "And yours?"

Suddenly feeling a bit too warm, Ennoshita leaned away from the other man, clearing his throat and holding out his hand. "Ennoshita."

Tanaka smiled widely, gripping his hand tightly, but at the same time delicately tracing his wrist with his fingertips. "Its nice to formally meet you, Ennoshita," he chuckled. "Now I can stop calling you asshole."

Ennoshita giggled at that, letting his palm slip away from Tanaka's, but not without one last fleeting touch.

"Truce?" Before Tanaka could respond, his stomach let out a long, loud growl. Another laugh escaped from Ennoshita's lips. "I'll take that as a yes. Sit." He gestured towards the stool at the end of the counter. Tanaka followed his orders like a little school boy, and began to stutter as Ennoshita pushed the bowl of soup towards him. "I know you didn't like it, but it's all I got." Ennoshita tried to joke, but there was a little too much truth in the statement.

"I didn't actually try it," Tanaka confessed suddenly as he stared into his food.

"What?"

"Yeah." Tanaka looked up at Ennoshita with big puppy eyes. "I was just trying to be funny. I didn't know you were a cook too."

Ennoshita pinched the bridge of his nose. "Idiot."

"Hey! I thought I told you my name is Tanaka."

"You're an idiot... _Tanaka_."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title Inspiration: [Carried Away](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiEwJTOderQ) by Passion Pit


	2. I Just Need the Time and Place to Come Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE FOR MEL AND ENNO'S BIRTHDAY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD AND SON.

“You come here often?”

Ennoshita didn’t even look up from the gravy he was thickening to respond. “What are you doing here?” He asked as he turned around to give him a pointed look, trying hard to not let a soft smile through.

“Do you have to ask me that every night?” Tanaka asked as he settled down onto his usual spot on the counter. He raised an eyebrow challengingly. “You know exactly what I’m here for.”

Ennoshita sighed dramatically and handed Tanaka a plate, _his plate_ , before loading it with his latest culinary masterpiece. “Here you are, my sire.”

The tips of Tanaka’s ears reddened at the teasing. He looked squarely at the pile of roasted vegetables Ennoshita had handed him as he mumbled out a reply. “Please don’t ever call me that again.”

Ennoshita mockingly gasped, clutching a towel to his chest, before swinging it to fan Tanaka. “But, sir, you are a noble knight.” he paused, even more dramatically looking out into the distance before continuing, “ And I but a humble servant.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “If you don’t treat me as such, people may talk.”

“Oh?” Tanaka raised an eyebrow, playing along. “And what would they say? That we meet up in the kitchen to peel turnips at two in the morning?”

“Well,” Ennoshita giggled. “They might think we used the olive oil for other activities.”

“We would never!” Tanaka gasped. “ You respect your spice collection too much to defile their innocence with such vulgarness.”

“True,” Ennoshita agreed. “Looks like we’ll just be roasting potatoes tonight.”

“Honestly, I like that idea better,” Tanaka said as he took a spoonful of food, humming as he tasted it. “You’re amazing. You know that?”

It was Ennoshita’s turn to look away and blush. “I know.” He tried hard to not stutter like a bumbling idiot.

“Seriously,” Tanaka insisted enthusiastically. Ennoshita gave a small shrug in response as he scrubbed down a pan. “Your food is like the best thing ever.”

He tried hard to suppress the wide grin threatening to break through, as he turned around, trying to change the subject, turning the attention away from himself. “How was your day? Did you get beat up by what’s-his-face again?”

It worked well, as Tanaka immediately started to rant, slamming his plate onto the counter, bits of gravy spilling down the side.

“First off,” Tanaka said, fingers ready to count out all of his problems. Ennoshita put his pan aside, amused, pretending to be attentive as he possibly could. “ _Futakuchi_.” Tanaka bit out the name like it was poison and Ennoshita had to bite his lip to stop his laughter. “The devil, did not beat me up. We were sparring! And I won.”

Ennoshita couldn’t control the giggle that slipped through his lips this time. Tanaka’s eyes narrowed at him. “I did!” He insisted flinging around a potato covered spoon at Ennoshita.

“Of course you did,” Ennoshita assured, before poking at a bruise that had been peeking out beneath Tanaka’s sleeve, bringing a yelp out of him. “That’s why you came in whining the other night because of that.”

“I don’t whine,” Tanaka whined, pouting and rubbing at his bruise. Ennoshita raised an eyebrow at him. “Often.” He appended quickly before lifting two fingers and continuing, “Secondly, that little shit was cheating today in practice!”

“Oh was he?” Ennoshita asked, playing a long, leaning back against the counter to get comfortable for what sure was to be a long winded story of triumph and terror.

Tanaka nodded vigorously. “E’ wa’ messin’ wit mah arro.” He tried to speak through a quite alarming amount of food.

“Excuse me?”

Tanaka swallowed and spoke again with a pout. “He was messing with my arrows.” When Ennoshita simply raised an eyebrow at him he continued, “Noya said that Hinanta told him that Kageyama said he saw Aone help him unbalance my arrows.”

“Ahh,” Ennoshita hummed, amused. “How could you refute such undeniable evidence.”

“Exactly,” Tanaka agreed, stuffing more food in his mouth. “We sho’ meh’ wit heh.”

Ennoshita sighed, not really wanting to try out his idiot interpretation skills. “Tanaka, can you at least pretend like you’re civil.”

“I can’t help if your food is so good.” Tanaka gave him a toothy smile, laced with vegetables stuck in every corner, but even then he managed to entice Ennoshita. “Anyway like I was saying,” Tanaka said putting his plate down. “We should mess with him. Maybe someone could slip some vinegar in his wine?” He looked pointedly at Ennoshita.

 

Ennoshita snorted and turned back to the sink. “Nice try, but I only do that to people who really deserve it. Come back when Futakuchi insults your cooking.”

He heard Tanaka clamber down from the countertop and rush to his side as he whined, “You did it to me. Futakuchi is way more of an asshole to me than I was to you.” Ennoshita didn’t bother looking up at him, humming as he scrubbed at a pot. “Pleasssseee.” Tanaka rested his head on Ennoshita’s shoulder, which in Ennoshita’s opinion was a cheap shot. He could feel Tanaka’s heat seep into him teasingly, like it knew it was something he wanted but couldn’t have. Suddenly Ennoshita wasn’t so much in a mood to play along. He gently shrugged Tanaka off his shoulder, his heart collapsing in on itself with the sleepy look Tanaka gave him in retaliation.

“Finish your food,” Ennoshita said softly, giving him a small nudge towards the counter. “It’ll taste like shit when it gets cold.”

“Nothing you make could ever taste bad,” Tanaka said, climbing back onto the counter.

“Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“Well, it was worth a shot.”

 

* * *

 

 

Tanaka, tugging along an enthusiastic Noya, made his presence even more persistent after asking for Ennoshita’s help, showering him with compliments and leaving in a flurry of apologize as each time he managed to make a disaster in his wake. Ennoshita wasn’t buying it for a second, or at least that’s what he told himself.

“Tanaka’s here quite often nowadays,” Kinoshita mused after Tanaka had stopped by simply to steal a grape and ruffle Ennoshita’s hair. “Maybe he found somethin’ he likes?”

Ennoshita scowled as best as he could with his hair in wayward spikes. “He just likes me for my cooking, Kinoshita.” His smirk in response was just the right shape to grind Ennoshita’s gears and it didn't help that Narita looked just as smug. “Just my cooking, you assholes.”

“I guess you’re right,” Kinoshita said, with a shrug. “I overheard him talking about how cute your lamb roast was last night with Noya.” A horrible no good mischievous glint was in his eyes. “Oh wait!” The finger on his chin, as he paused to ‘think’ was particularly annoying to Ennoshita. “He was talking about your butt.”

Narita put a comforting hand on Ennoshita just in time, as he was deciding whether he should pinch right under Kinoshita’s rib where he knew he had a bruise, or to give him a new one himself.

“Now, Ennoshita,” he said kindly, with a gentle pat. “If you turn any redder Daichi will know we aren’t working.”

“I hate you both.”

“And we love you too, pumpkin,” Kinoshita replied, handing him a plate and giving him a shove out the door. “Now go get your cute butt out there and serve your knight.”

“But I’m not even on duty,” Ennoshita tried to protest, but it was a little too late as Kinoshita had pushed him directly into the dinning hall. He was caught off guard, not quite used to being off kilter as he served, but he tried his best to be the stone statue that he needed to be as a servant.

_What did he need to do again? Serve Tanaka._

He bee-lined towards his knight, as Kinoshita had called him, ready to serve the main course to him and see that bold grin spread across his face with every meal Ennoshita served. Instead he was met with confused glances.

“Ennoshita,” He heard Tanaka whisper out of the corner of his mouth. “What are you doing?”

Ennoshita scoffed. He couldn’t believe the knight could be that dense. “I’m serving you, obviously,” he furiously whispered back, still trying to keep his cool.

Tanaka looked up at him with squinted eyes. “Ennoshita,” he began again softly. Ennoshita tried to listen as well as possible without getting distracted by the random thoughts of how Tanaka, a knight, surrounded by the fittest people around, could possibly think Ennoshita’s butt was cute.

“Yes, sire?”

“I already have a plate.”

“What?!”

Ennoshita looked down to see the full main course already served.

“And I’m pretty sure you’re holding Suga’s fish entrails.” Tanaka added, nose scrunched up in disgust. Ennoshita looked back at the platter he was still holding, just registering what was on it.

“ _Kinoshita._ ”

“What?” Tanaka questioned back eyebrows raised. “This wasn’t another prank was it? Cause my stomach still hasn’t recovered.”

“Not on you,” Ennoshita bit out. “Excuse me.” He turned sharply on his heels and marched his cute butt back to the kitchen. As soon as he entered he spotted his target across the room cowering next to Narita and Suga.

“You little shit.”

All three of them had the audacity to laugh.

“You’re back awfully quickly,” Kinoshita commented, barely getting words out between giggles while leaning on Narita for support. “Did Tanaka get his food?”

“You set me up!” Ennoshita accused, not believing the betrayal.

“Well in his defense,” Suga inputted from the left. “It was a rather obvious set up.”

“Yeah,” Kinoshita agreed. “I didn’t realize you had it that bad for him. You didn’t notice anything!”

“Completely oblivious,” Narita added, just to tick Ennoshita off some more.

He felt his cheeks burn, knowing he lost this battle. Tanaka seemed to be his biggest weakness, but held his stance as well as possible. “I will get you back,” Ennoshtia promised, and then haughtily turned up his nose. “But for now I’m going to be an adult since apparently I’m the only one here.” He stalked passed the giggly trio and into the cabinet to reorganize his spices until he didn’t feel like stabbing anything.

 

* * *

 

 

“I need you to stab someone for me.”

“Well, good evening to you too,” Tanaka said, cautiously taking his seat.

It turned out that ordering his spice collection by name and then again by geographical origin did little to calm his nerves, as he still felt the need to violently rip apart the bread for Tanaka and shove it at him with little more than a grunt.

Tanaka gingerly took the chunk, chewing on a bit thoughtfully before speaking. “So, how’s it going?”

“I need you to poke Kinoshita with one of your sharp things,” Ennoshita said seriously.

“As cute as you are when you’re angry,” Tanaka began, before stopping for Ennoshita to scowl some more. “I am an honorable knight.” He stood hand over his heart, eyes shut. “I only fight to defend those who need protection.” He opened eyes to give Ennoshita a sharp look. “I do not abuse my power.”

Ennoshita rolled his eyes. “Honorable my ass,” he scoffed. “You’re ready to fight Futakuchi at any moment.”

“That’s different,” Tanaka huffed, arms crossed, pout ready to form. “He’s a dick and Kinoshita always gives me extra bread.” He waved the piece Ennoshita had just tore him in his face.

Ennoshita snatched it away, much to Tanaka’s displeasure. He bartered as Tanaka made grabby hands for the bread. “Just mild stabbing, like a papercut.”

Tanaka stopped his chase to respond. “Yah know, since you’re so interested in poking things with a sword, you should come train with me.”

He had tried this tactic before, always slipping in that Ennoshita should come to see him in his area of expertise. A little voice in his head, that sounded suspiciously like Kinoshita taunted him singing, he just wants to show off for you. But there was another voice, a selfish one. It was the part of him that wanted to keep whatever it was between him and Tanaka locked away in the cupboard, to sit high on the shelf next to the cinnamon. He liked that it was a secret, something that was only out in the shadows of the kitchen, late at night for no one to see. Training with Tanaka meant, thrusting himself in front of the unknown, right in to the laps of Tanaka’s friends so that he could be dissected.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Ennoshita said finally, after his in depth analysis of what could possibly go wrong.

“Why not?” Tanaka whined. “Noya said he wanted to show you his special moves and trust me it's awesome.”

“I don’t know.” Ennoshita strung his fingers together.

“Exactly!” Tanaka exclaimed, grabbing onto Ennoshita’s hands to deftly steal the bread back. He took a large bite and continued. “You have no good reason not to come!” Before Ennoshita could refute he continued. “And we can go when no one else is there, like super early in the morning!”

He had a point, Ennoshita hated to admit. His only reason would seem entirely crazy to anyone else that wasn’t him and if it was just going to be them anyway his whole point was pretty much moot, so he had but one choice; to relent.

“Ok, I’ll come,” Ennoshita sighed. He watched Tanaka immediately perk up, and somehow that cleared the annoying knot in his stomach that had been digging a hole into his lungs. But before he got too excited he added, “But you promise no one else will be there right?”

“Of course Ennoshita! Have I ever let you down?”

“Relentlessly.”

 

* * *

 

 

Tanaka managed to let him down in multiple ways when they finally decided to meet the day after next. Firstly he showed up late, even though it was his idea to show up at four o’clock in the morning, and then they were definitely not the only ones on the training grounds.

“Tanaka,” Ennoshita hissed as they made there way across the field. Tanaka was just humming along, perfectly content- that bastard. “You said we’d be the only ones.”

He at least had the decency to look a little ashamed as he turned to Ennoshita to respond. “I may have gotten excited and told a couple of my friends to come.”

Ennoshita stopped walking to focus all his energy on giving Tanaka the death stare. “What?!”

Tanaka stood his ground as well, arms flailing and landing on Ennoshita’s arms to rub at his biceps. “Look a lot of them thought I made up that we were friends.” He pouted to add more salt to the wound. Maybe Kinoshita was finally right about something, Ennoshita was pretty freaking gone for this idiot. “They just wanna meet you. Please don’t be mad. I really don’t want to drink vinegar again.” He clasped his hands together, pleading with Ennoshita.

Ennoshita sure was enjoying the begging Tanaka and wondered just how far he could push it to make him get on his knees, but he was feeling rather forgiving this morning and Tanaka looked a bit too good in the shirt he had worn, so Ennoshita once again relented.

“Fine,” he clipped back, pushing his bangs from his face and marching towards the training grounds. “But you have to taste test for me without complaints.”

Tanaka jogged to catch up to him and gave him a winning smile. “That’s not much of a punishment. Ennoshita, are you going soft on me now?”

“Pfft,” Ennoshtia huffed. “I never said what you were taste testing.” He gave Tanaka a mischievous smirk before grabbing onto his wrist. “Now, come on. Show me the rest of the people that have to put up with you.”

“I’ll have you know. I am well respected among the knights,” Tanaka said, intertwining their fingers to teasingly tug Ennoshita towards the doors of the training arena. When Ennoshita responded with an unimpressed look he continued. “You’ll see. I’m what they call an ace.” He smirked back at Ennoshita and opened the doors.

Immediately they were greeted by the sounds of clanging swords and shouts of other knights- at least twenty of them- already in battle with one another.

“You said a couple of friends,” Ennoshita whispered into Tanaka’s ear, but was ignored as said idiot immediately went to chest bump Noya, dragging Ennoshita with him. At least Noya was a familiar face, that popped in from time to time with Tanaka to steal some food with him and to mess around with the rest of the kitchen staff.

“Hey Chikara!” Noya practically screamed and squeezed Ennoshita with a surprising amount of strength for his lithe build. “I’m so excited! I’ve gotta show you everything!” Ennoshita smiled warmly at him; there was something about Noya that always seemed to cheer Ennoshita up and calm his nerves at the same time. Noya grabbed at his other hand and tried to pull him along but Tanaka tugged Ennoshita back.

“Hey ya little gremlin,” Tanaka growled, eyes narrowed. “I invited Ennoshita. I get to show him around.”

Noya pouted in response. “But you said he wanted to see my special move!” Funnily enough, Ennoshita did not recall saying anything remotely close to that and gave Tanaka a pointed look to convey it.

Tanaka cleared his throat at Ennoshita’s glare. “Later,” he hissed. “I wanna introduce him to everyone first.” As he gestured to the rest of the arena, Ennoshita finally had the good sense to look up. Everyone else had been staring, quite unashamedly if he could say so himself, at the little exchange that had went down and were giving curious looks to Ennoshita.

Tanaka turned his attention to the rest of the room again, hands clasped tightly onto Ennoshita’s shoulder as though he knew Ennoshita needed the support. His hand suddenly felt cold and empty without Tanaka’s wrapped in it though.

“Ennoshita,” He announced. Ennoshita gave the room a once over as everyone stared him down. “Meet, well everyone!” Tanaka gave a vague wave to the rest. “Everyone,” he paused and took a deep breath before letting out a barking laugh that shook Ennoshita out of his stupor. “I told you we were friends. See he likes me.” He swung his arm around Ennoshita and crushed him into his side as though he could prove their friendship by physically pushing them closer together.

They were met with blank stares, until there was a shout from the back.

“He’s real!”

They were surrounded by a crowd immediately, an excited buzzing mob around Ennoshita as though he were of an alien species. Tanaka pulled him closer into his side and started listing out names at a rapid fire pace.

“Hinata, Bokuto, Kageyama, Cream puff, Kyoutani, Akaashi.” He pointed down the line as each one gave an small wave, before turning Ennoshita to face the other way and continue on. "And on this side we've got Yaku the Short, Iwaizumi the Angry, and Oikawa the Annoying, Kuroo, Turnip boy, and Watari." He squinted and pointed to the back as some of the knights tried to protest their unflattering introductions. "Oh! And back there is Ushiwaka, who looks horrifying but is sometimes ok." Tanaka whispered the last part. "And Aone, Kamasaki, and- _you."_

Tanaka stopped suddenly and was glaring at a figure Ennoshita couldn't quite see in his position among the crowd, but given Tanaka's look of pure and utter disgust, Ennoshita was sure he knew who it was for.

"Aren't you going to introduce me properly, Tanaka?" a voice said teasingly as the crowd started to part to reveal a tall knight with brown hair sweeping over one eye and smug look that could actually rival Tanaka's ridiculousness.

"You weren't invited, Futakuchi!" Tanaka spat back, crushing Ennoshita close enough to almost stop his breathing.

"But I wanted to meet your boyfriend." Futakuchi crossed his arms and cocked out his hip while winking at Ennoshita. He could feel his face burn, but couldn't tell if it was because of the comment or the lack of air. "You've talked so much about him."

"He's _not_ my boyfriend," Tanaka gritted out through his teeth, ears turning just as red as Ennoshita's face felt.

Futakuchi looked pleased to have hit a nerve and turned to address Ennoshita directly again. "I just wanted to see who would actually put up with you, and let me tell you brown eyes, you could do much better."

Tanaka finally relinquished his hold on Ennoshita to pounce at Futakuchi. "That's it I'm-"

Before Ennoshita could start to pull him back though, his attack was interrupted by a large figure scooping Futakuchi up, much to his protest.

"I think that's quite enough from you," said a blonde knight, who Ennoshita thought Tanaka had labeled as Kamasaki, next to the giant knight that had picked Futakuchi up like he was a doll. "Thank you Aone." He tipped his head at the large knight. Aone nodded back in return, then bowed his head in apology at Ennoshita, before beginning to march out of the arena, Futakuchi in tow.

"Hey you can't just pick me up whenever you want!" Futakuchi yelled as he pounded at Aone's back, the blonde knight just laughed and response, saluting the others as jogged out to catch up to Aone. A small ' _see you later brown eyes!_ ' could be heard as the door slammed shut behind them. Tanaka watched them retreat before turning back to Ennoshita as the rest of the knights went back to their own business as though this was a common occurrence.

Ennoshita found it strange, being amidst all these respected knights felt much like the chaos of the kitchens of the lowly servants. After meeting Tanaka and Noya he shouldn't be surprised, but experiencing it first hand made his worries seem silly. The knights were just like everyone else.

"Now where were we?" Tanaka said, smiling as though nothing had happened. "Oh yeah, let me first get you a sword!" He rushed of, leaving Ennoshita to stumble after him as Noya merrily skipped along beside him.

"A sword?" Ennoshita asked nervously. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"You handle knives all the time Chikara!" Noya encouraged, latching onto Ennoshita's arm, so he had no choice but to be dragged with him.

"Yeah, you'll be fine," Tanaka said without turning back. "I'll make sure you don't die."

They approached a door that then leads them to a smaller damp room lined with weapons Ennoshita can't even begin to think of names for. He scanned the shelves of swords, axes, and other very sharp looking objects and wondered just how many Tanaka could handle. Ennoshita was reminded of the other life of the knight's he never saw- _until now_. 

"Kenma," Tanaka greeted a small figure sitting at a cluttered table in the corner. He barely acknowledged Tanaka, simply giving a little huff at the sound of his name, too engrossed in the intricate design he was drawing.

"That's gorgeous," Ennoshita couldn't help but gasp, mesmerized by the way Kenma so effortlessly created something so beautiful. It earned him a glance up from Kenma, and he had to hold in another gasp as his bright eyes stared up into Ennoshita's.

"You're new," Kenma stated, blinking blankly at him.

"Ennoshita, meet Kenma," Tanaka introduced, pulling Ennoshita upfront. "Kenma is a genius. He designs everything for us. Isn't that right Kenma?"

Kenma was already bored with Ennoshita apparently, as he was back to sketching and grunted in response. Tanaka slung his arm around Ennoshita once more- it was beginning to be a bit too familiar- and chuckled. "He's a riot." He pulled at a loose strand of hair from Kenma's bun. "We're going to take a look around ok? Where's Taketora?"

"Did someone say Taketora?" A loud voice said from behind them. Ennoshita spun around to find himself face to face with a haircut even stranger than Noya's.

 "Tanaka!" He shouted.

"Taketora!" Tanaka sobbed, throwing himself at the other knight.

"You guys saw each other yesterday," Kenma said from his spot at his desk, but was ignored as Tanaka and the so called Taketora engaged in an overly complex handshake. He looked at Ennoshita as Noya joined in on it and gave him a ' _see what I have to deal with_ ' glare. Ennoshita just shrugged his shoulders but couldn't help but be in awe of how much he related to a single look. 

"Is this Ennoshita, then?" Taketora noticed Ennoshita awkwardly mulling around in the background. Tanaka turned around to yank him closer to the group.

"Yep," he said practically beaming, squeezing at Ennoshita's shoulders to relax him. "Ennoshita meet Taketora. He's the blacksmith and basically a god."

Ennoshita put out a hand to greet the knight but instead was pulled into a crushing hug. 

"It's nice to finally met yah," he said as he punctured Ennoshita's lungs with his ribs. "Tanaka talks so much about you!" Taketora held Ennoshita out to get a better look at him. Ennoshita was getting worryingly used to being man handled at by this point. "And you know, you're just as cu-"

Tanaka swooped in to save Ennoshita, nestling him into his side again. 

"That's quite enough of an introduction!" He said, smiling through gritted teeth. "We're actually looking for a weapon that'd suit Ennoshita."

"Yeah!" Noya piped up. "It's gotta somethin' super cool cause Chikara is like super cool."

"Nishinoya," Taketora said, tone suddenly solemn. 

"Yes?"

"All my weapons or super cool."

"True," Noya agreeed, giving Taketora a fist bump.

"So you lookin' to learn how to fight?" Taketora asked, addressing Ennoshita once more. He gave Ennoshita a once over before humming thoughtfully. "Ya got the build for something light." He poked at Ennoshita's bicep, unfairly hard. "Really light."

"Hey," Tanaka protested, slipping a thumb over the spot on Ennoshita's arm Taketora had poked. "It's his first time ever. Take it easy on him."

There was a strange twinkle in Taketora's eyes as he glanced from Ennoshita to Tanaka and around them to Kenma, who had already been staring at Taketora.

"I see," he said, and maybe he wasn't quite as oblivious as Ennoshita had thought. "Let's start you off with a practice sword and go from there to find you somethin' with the right balance. Does that sound ok?"

Ennoshita nodded, a little relieved that he wouldn't start with a real weapon as Taketora went back to get him a wooden sword. Tanaka squeezed him a bit.

"Don't look so scared," Tanaka said when Ennoshita raised an eyebrow at him. "None of them bite- unless you ask."

Ennoshita giggled, feeling a little like they were back in their own bubble, just them, safely tucked away in the dark. "Only you would ask."

"Touche"

"Here you are sir." Taketora presented the sword with a bow as he came back into the weapons area. Ennoshita giggled as he took it, somehow charmed by another idiot.

"Thank you," he said as he gripped at the hilt, trying to get used to the weight of it, swinging it around a bit at his side, before turning back to Tanaka. "Where do we go from here, master?"

Tanaka looked a bit dazed, staring at Ennoshita with his mouth slightly ajar. Noya shoved an elbow into his side. "What? Yeah, lets go kill some dummies! See ya later Taketora!" He fist bumped the air and grabbed onto Ennoshita's arm to drag him back into the training arena. He kicked the door open with a yell and they were met with-

Silence.

"What the hell," Noya said, head whipping back and forth. "Where'd everyone go?"

His question was met with someone clearing their throat loudly, from right by them. They all turned to see an old man with a permanent scowl. Tanaka and Noya immediately stiffened, running up to stand in front of him, hands already forming salutes.

"Sir!"

The old man just stared at them and then whispered, "At ease." Tanaka and Noya put there hands at their sides once more, but did nothing to relax the rest of their posture. "Now-" his voice seemed like it should have been weak, but it echoed loudly, "-can you please tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Tanaka hesitated. "We were," he mumbled, chin down and then picked his head back up to look the man, who Ennoshita assumed was the commander, square in the eye. "We were doing extra practice, sir!" Noya nodded so hard in agreement, Ennoshita was scared for his little neck.

"Oh?" The old man raised a questioning eyebrow at the pair and then turned sharply to Ennoshita. He could feel each individual cell in his body shake. He'd gotten that look before. It was the one he got before the royalty would remind him that he was no better than the dirt underneath their toenails. "And I see you've also taken upon yourself to recruit new members." His glare hardened as if he was waiting for Ennoshita to dare to respond. Where were his invisibility powers when it actually mattered?

"Sir-" Tanaka began, but was quickly cut off with a hand held up by the commander. He slowly turned back to the knights.

"I think you have forgotten your place," he said, lowering his hand. "You're a knight. Not a servant playing pretend." Tanaka and Noya both lowered there heads. Ennoshita felt his cheeks burn as he tried hard to stop the embarrassed tears from flowing down his face.

"Clean this mess up." He gestured to the array of weapons that had been abandoned on the floor of the arena. "And then report back to the base immediately." And with a final upturn of his nose, he left, the swish of his cape echoing through the room.

Silence followed. Ennoshita was too busy looking at his shoes, that were becoming increasingly blurry, to notice that his hands had finally given up and dropped the practice sword.

"Ennoshita," He heard Tanaka whisper, before a hand gripped his shoulder. He shook it off quickly, before backing away from the knights.

"I forgot," he spoke directly to the wood chips that his worn shoes rested on. "I think I left the stove on." He started to run.

"Ennoshita!" Tanaka yelled, but Ennoshita was way too busy making a dramatic exit, letting the arena door slam shut behind him.

He didn't even remember crossing the field back to the castle, didn't notice anything until he smelled the mixture of spice around him and suddenly a finger flicked at his forehead.

"Hey there." He looked up to meet Daichi's concerned brown eyes. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Didn't I tell you the stairs weren't haunted?"

Ennoshita was still gathering his bearings, but even then he was an expert at faking it. He gave a small smile to Daichi's attempt at a joke. "The stairs might not be, but I'm pretty sure the cupboard is." Daichi still looked unconvinced by Ennoshita's response, but one small shake of the head from Ennoshita had him pretending like he didn't see anything. Ennoshita had to appreciate Daichi for understanding wanting to seem emotionless, but even then he put a comforting hand on Ennoshita's shoulder.

"Well I hope you're not that scared," he said. "You're on marinating duty today."

Ennoshita met him with a hollow chuckle.

"Me scared? _Never_."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the nice comments. 
> 
> Title inspiration: [Location](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=by3yRdlQvzs) by Khalid


	3. A Seat with the Clearest View

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow guess who actually updated on time.

For the first time Ennoshita heard the door shut completely as Tanaka entered the kitchen. He didn't turn around, allowing for him to sit in uncomfortable silence until Tanaka broke it himself. He instead busied himself with the shell of his tart, making sure it was pressed in properly before the filling.

"You've been avoiding me," he said finally. Ennoshita turned to find him not perched on his usual seat, but awkwardly hovering by it instead. He scoffed, they both could be accused of that. Tanaka hadn't shown up in his kitchen in two weeks. As Ennoshita continued to say nothing, the words couldn't seem to find their way out of the maze that were his lungs, he started to look nervous. "I'm sorry about what happened."

Ennoshita stared at the other man. He looked like he was ready to beg for Ennoshita just to speak a word, even if it was harsh.

"Why?" Ennoshita asked, amused as Tanaka looked confused by his smirk. "I got to meet Futakuchi. That was a real treat."

Tanaka gave him a wide eye stare, mouth slightly agape. "Ennoshita," he began softly.

"Tanaka," Ennoshita hummed back, looking determinedly at the knight. No emotions, right? A blank slate, an invisible servant. He tried to convey the message with his eyes. Please drop it.

He finally relented, breaking eye contact with Ennoshita to lower his head a chuckle. When he looked back up Tanaka was smiling wide. "That's why I'm sorry," he said, stepping closer and picking up a plate from the counter to hold out to Ennoshita. "Futakuchi is such a dick."

Ennoshita smiled gratefully, as he loaded Tanaka's plate with a slice of a tart. "I don't know," he mused, finger on his chin. "He's kinda cute."

Tanaka gasped, "You take that back!"

"I call em' like I see em"

"You're the worst."

"I know."

Silence encompassed them once more, both caught up in the other's gaze.

"Ennoshita," Tanaka tried again.

"I don't want to hear it," Ennoshita cut him off once more and turning away.

"If you'd just-"

"Tanaka I'm used it ok. It's fine just drop it," he bit back, hands clutched around a towel, wringing it roughly.

"That's not it!" Tanaka insisted.

Ennoshita finally relented and turned back, eyes a blazed. "Then what is it?!"

Tanaka's face was a lot closer than he expected, hovering close enough for Ennoshita to see the details of the tiny scar he always admired that graced Tanaka's chin.

"I'm leaving," he finally whispered.

Ennoshita felt the breath get punched right out of him.

"What?"

"I'm leaving," he repeated, a shaky hand came to rest on Ennoshita's waist to stop him from backing away as he had subconsciously been doing. He licked his lips, Ennoshita watched his tongue sweep in and out, not quite believing the sounds it was producing. "We got called to the front, my squad. I came to say good bye."

When Ennoshita continued to stare, wide eyed, Tanaka's eyebrows scrunched up. "Say something."

Ennoshita's throat felt too dry. "What do you want me to say?"

Tanaka looked defensive, all of a sudden removing his arm from around Ennoshita to rest it on the counter. "I don't know. Anything."

"How long ?" Ennoshita asked.

"Three months." Tanaka looked at him expectantly.

"I can't stop you," Ennoshita replied.

"I know," Tanaka said.

"I can't go with you."

"I know."

"You have to do it."

"I know."

"You won't be back for a long time."

"I know!" Tanaka yelled, hand gripping at the edge of the sink. He then brought both palms up to cup Ennoshita's face and whispered again, "I know."

Ennoshita was silenced once more.

"I just-" Tanaka hesitated. "I just don't want you to forget about me."

"Oh Tanaka." Ennoshita gave him a watery smile, as he rested his hands on Tanaka's wrists. "You're the biggest idiot I know. It's hard to replace that."

Tanaka chuckled, letting his hands slide down to Ennoshita's shoulders, before pulling him into a hug. "I'll miss your cooking."

Ennoshita laughed into his neck. "I'll make sure to have my mom's disgusting soup ready for you when you're back."

There was an unspoken _if_ hanging between them as they pulled apart.

"I'm looking forward to it."

* * *

 

 

"Stop pouting around the stew, it's trying to simmer in peace."

Ennoshita sighed. He looked up from his stirring to find Suga smiling brightly at him. No one should be allowed to be that happy, not when Tanaka wasn't here to light up the room. Tanaka had been gone for two and a half weeks now and Ennoshita hated to admit but he was missing him a lot more than he anticipated.

"Not in the mood, Suga," Ennoshita mumbled.

Suga huffed and then pointed out, "You're never in the mood."

"Yeah," Ennoshita agreed, letting go of the spoon he was gripping, and watched it circle around the pot. "But especially today."

"Ennoshita," Suga said softly, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I know how you feel." He glanced across the kitchen to Daichi, who was ordering around some first years. "We know how you feel."

"Oh, you-" Ennoshita began before trailing off at the pained expression on Suga's face.

"Yeah, his name was-" Suga paused to correct himself, "-is Asahi." He looked down at his palms like they were something of interest. "He's been gone for two years."

"Suga-"

"But he'll be back." Suga had a fierce look in his eye that Ennoshita had formerly associated with him playing pranks on others. "And so will Tanaka."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because," Suga said, practically beaming. "You're his person and he'll always find his way back to you."

Before Ennoshita could really think about Suga's statement, his cheeks were being pinched hard enough for his body to react with a squawk.

"Suga!"

"Now get your cute little butt working," Suga scolded. "I don't want to see you moping around. You're making all the greens wilt."

Ennoshita returned the smile that Suga was blinding him with and mockingly saluted, before walking off to help Kinoshita and Narita with whatever task they were surely messing up. He made sure to sneak up on them as they were hunched over, both chopping vegetables furiously.

"What are you doing?!" He bellowed into Narita's ear, who squealed and dropped the knife and zucchini he was cutting onto his foot. Kinoshita was clutching at his chest like his heart was ready to pop out.

"What the fuck, Ennoshita!" Narita was still squealing as Ennoshita let out his first real laugh in what felt like years. Kinoshita was staring at him, scandalized.

"We could have died," He said finally in a gasp.

Ennoshita gave him an unimpressed look in return. "Oh really?"

Kinoshita nodded in response, still clutching at his chest. "Yeah, what did we do to deserve this kind of treatment?"

Ennoshita's eyebrow crawled up into his hair. "Seriously?" Kinoshita just looked wide eyed and innocent as ever. Ennoshita snorted and flicked at his forehead. "Fish entrails ring any bells?"

Kinoshita waved that off. "Psh, that was so long ago."

"Even so there's about a thousand reasons you two deserve it," Ennoshita said, poking them both in the side, making them giggle. "Just this morning you didn't tell me my shirt was inside out!"

"It was dark," Narita complained. "I seriously thought it was ok! Anyway Kinoshita was the one who did the fish thing."

Ennoshita pointed in between Narita's eyes. "You are an enabler."

Narita laughed again, before letting his expression soften. "So you're ok today, Ennoshita?" Kinoshita was giving him the same earnest look.

Ennoshita ruffled his hair with his hand and let out a breath that had been trapped in his lungs for two weeks. "Yeah, I'm ok." His friends smiles went from mischievous to sincere. He cleared his throat to distract from the blush forming on his cheeks. "So, do you need help here?"

"I don't know," Kinoshita mused. "I think Daichi might need help with the newbies."

"Yeah they're marinating a pig again," Narita added, smirk attached and all. Ennoshita felt both his eyebrow and his left pinky twitch.

"Shut up and give me that celery."

He let his friends' laughter carry the weight Tanaka had left in his heart.

* * *

  
The days went by slowly, painfully slow, with much effort on Ennoshita's part. It felt like he was pushing a boulder up a hill, waiting for the moment he could breathe properly again, struggling to hold everything up like he was ok. But today was the day, the day he reached the top of the hill.

Ennoshita woke up with his internal clock ringing, screaming. He felt like doing some screaming himself. He decided, though that his roommates would not appreciate that early morning wakeup call. Instead, he jumped down the stairs to start breakfast with Daichi.

"Good morning," Ennoshita practically sang as he burst through the kitchen door.

Daichi gave him his widest, eye crinkling smile. "Good morning to you too." He kneaded at the dough he was working on. "Somebody's in a good mood. I wonder why?"

Ennoshita blushed, realizing just how much he had let himself go. What had gotten into him? He was skipping, singing, and smiling. It scared him a little. Where did the stone servant go? His blank slate, couldn't do anything to the power of Tanaka it seemed. He cleared his throat. "Ahem, no reason."

"Oh?" Daichi raised an eyebrow at him. "It doesn't happen to be because a certain troop with a certain knight is supposed to be back today?"

Ennoshita shook his head. "Not at all. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Daichi chuckled. "Sure," he said ruffling Ennoshita's hair with a floured hand. Ennoshita batted it away, but it was too late the damage was already done.

"Hey!" He desperately tried to pat the flour out of his hair.

"I'm sorry. I forgot you have to look good for Tanaka," Daichi apologized with a mischievous smirk.

"Ya know," Ennoshita squinted hard at the cook. "Everyone thinks Suga is the mean one, but I'm the only one who knows your true colors."

Daichi snorted. "Shut up." Ennoshita opened his mouth to speak. "That's an order." He closed his mouth, but was smiling widely. "Go be all happy somewhere else, like the coop. Go get some eggs."

"Aye, aye Captain!" He skipped out the door, slamming it shut just in time to cut off another yell from Daichi.

Ennoshita was suppressing a smile all throughout the day. The egg collecting, the vegetable cutting, getting burnt by the stove, Kinoshita and Narita's constant teasing, Suga's knowing smirk, didn't faze him a bit today. Because today that boulder was safely tucked away on the top of the hill and Ennoshita was finally free to breathe, to walk, to run, without feeling its weight.

"Are you sure you want to serve at dinner tonight?" Kinoshita asked him as they prepared a lamb roast. "You're probably pretty tired. You barely slept." Ennoshita gave him a pointed look, to which Kinoshita smiled widely at. "What, it's true." 

"I never sleep," Ennoshita pointed out. "Thanks to _someone's_ snoring."

"You know, I tell Narita it bothers you." Kinoshita shook his head solemnly. "He never listens." 

"Funny I was talking about you." Ennoshita threw some dried basil at the other chef, who giggled.

"Stop," Kinoshita whined. "We promised Daichi last month we wouldn't start any food fights."

"I'll just tell him you started it." Ennoshita shrugged. Kinoshita gasped. "What he'd never believe you over me."

"You're becoming a tyrant," Kinoshita tried to say seriously, but his mouth kept twitching up in a smile, until he burst out laughing. Ennoshita couldn't help but join in. "Ennoshita," he said softly as their laughter died down to sparse giggles. Ennoshita hummed in response, as he picked up the string to tie the roast with. "I'm glad you're happy again."

Ennoshita looked at him, eyes shining. "Me too."

After they got the roast into the oven, time seemed to speed up and before he knew it Suga was handing him a finished platter full of soup bowls with a smile. "Go get him," he whispered as he passed along the plate, and for once he didn't mention anything about Ennoshita's butt.

All Ennoshita could do was smile back gratefully. He was nervous all of a sudden. What if Tanaka changed? What if he doesn't remember him? Or worse, what if he does, but just didn't miss him?

"Blank slate, blank slate, blank slate," Ennoshita repeated under his breath as he exited the kitchen, with a little shove from Narita. Upon entering the dining hall, Ennoshita did the familiar scan for that bald head, next to those towering spikes.

His heart stopped. He felt as though the boulder rolled back down straight on to his chest, crushing the air out of his lungs.

_They weren't there._

He scanned again. _Nothing._

He must have missed them. He moved swiftly to the side of the long table the knights sat at and noticed how empty it was. At least half of the king's guard was missing. He held back his need to throw up, pressing his lips tight together.

_Blank slate._

He passed the bowls out without a sound. His hand shook.

_Blank slate._

He walked silently, his steps unhesitant on the familiar pattern.

_Blank slate._

Until, a napkin dropped directly in his path.

"Let me get that for you sir," he said just as the knight bent down to grab it. Instead of sitting back up the knight stayed low and cleared his throat. Ennoshita looked up at him to find no other than Futakuchi staring back at him.

He leaned in close to whisper into Ennoshita's ear, pressing a folded paper into his palm at the same time. "Tanaka told me to give you this." Ennoshita felt his heart leap into his throat. He found the strength to get back up, placing the napkin back onto the table, without breaking eye contact with Futakuchi.

"Here you are sire," he said blankly, but nodded in thanks. Futakuchi gave him a knowing look in return.

It was hard not to just run back into the kitchen, hide away in a corner and bury himself in the note. Instead he slipped the paper into his pocket and continued serving and when he finished, he _calmly_ marched himself back to the kitchen. 

"Ennoshita," he heard Kinoshita whisper as soon as he entered, a comforting hand already gracing his shoulder. Ennoshita just shook his head in response.

"I'm fine," he said, voice cracking slightly, before rushing out of the kitchen, exiting through the back door.

He leaned against the wall, panting, fists clutched tightly by his side, head resting on the rough exterior of the castle. He slowly reached into his apron pocket, hand shaking as if he was handling something precious. _He was._

Ennoshita took a deep breath and unfolded it. Immediately squinting in the dying sun to make out the words. There was crossed out script that he couldn't quite make out, and the writing was messy as if he had done it last minute, so it was a bit difficult to read.

 

_Ennoshita,_

_I'm sorry but I'm going to have to take a rain check on the soup. I volunteered on a stealth mission, along with Noya (he says hi) and its going to take a bit more time. That's all I'm really allowed to tell you right now, but when I get back I'll tell you all about it. I promise I'll be back._

_I miss you._

_\- Tanaka_

 

He took another breath, closing his eyes, almost able to imagine Tanaka stuttering over the words. _What an idiot_ , Ennoshita thought as he read through the short note once more. Only Tanaka and Noya would be stupid enough to volunteer for a mission. Ennoshita looked out at the last rays of sun peeking out of the horizon, comforted by the fact that Tanaka was under it too. He gave it a fierce glare, hoping Tanaka could feel that the look was for him.

"You better come back, idiot," Ennoshita mumbled under his breath, crushing the letter in his fist. "If you don't, I'll kill you." He pocketed the note again, giving the sun one last glance before slipping back into the kitchen to work.

He could hold the boulder up for a little while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments and kudos.
> 
> Title inspiration: [Life on Mars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v--IqqusnNQ) by David Bowie


	4. My Absent Heart Does not Know Why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this a separate chapter so sorry if it's short. I hope you like it.

The candle was dying as Ennoshita watched the steam rise from the bowl. Thirty. That's how many bowls of soup he's had to make. Tanaka hadn't shown up to eat a single one. His heart ached something terrible as he rested his head against the counter. _He'll come,_ he thought. _He promised._

But then he remembers Daichi and Suga, the soft looks of understanding, of hurt, of pain that couldn't be quite fixed, ever. The spot Daichi pressed on to his shoulder every night, felt like it was on fire. He never said anything, but Ennoshita understood. _Don't take yourself apart. Nobody wants that, especially Tanaka._ It was easier said than done. Ennoshita would pick every piece of skin off his hands if it meant that they could feel Tanaka's heartbeat strong, like it always was.

"Ennoshita," Daichi had said earlier that evening as everyone else had stumbled to bed and yet Ennoshita sat still, staring at the door. He looked at him expectantly as he mechanically reached for a pot to heat and fill with stock. "He'll come. Maybe you should get some rest tonight."

He could feel his eyes well up immediately at the suggestion. Facing away from Daichi, he spoke into the sink. "I can't leave. What if he comes and I'm not here?" He glared bitterly at the ageing wood. Daichi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Ennoshita wasn't having any of it, quickly pulling away from his reach.

"Ennoshita," Daichi let out a sigh that stuck its way right into his throat. Damn his pity. Damn his need to take care. "Don't do this."

"Wouldn't you do it for _him_?" Ennoshita's tone was harsher than he meant, his glare even harder. He watched Daichi pull back, head bowing slowly as he stood away. His voice dropped to a whisper, feeling slightly ashamed of his outburst. "I just, thought you would understand."

Daichi's eyes were ablaze as he looked back up at Ennoshita. He gulped. Daichi only looked like that when he was ready to lecture. "I do," he said softly, so softly Ennoshita felt like he could wrap himself up in Daichi's words and sleep until Tanaka came back. His look soften. "That's why I can't let you do this to yourself."

Ennoshita turned back to his pot. "I can take care of myself," he said, choking on the last part. Even though he was behind him, he could feel Daichi's gaze for a few moments, before he began to walk away.

"Don't stay up too late." The door shut hard behind him, and Ennoshita collapsed, boneless, onto a stool.

_He'll come. He promised._

Ennoshita let his eyes slide shut as his brain finally gave up. His mind was tired of overthinking, his bones tired of overworking, and his heart tired of falling apart.

_He'll come._

He crushed the note he always kept with him in his palm.

_He promised._

He let sleep win for once as he slipped into dreams of knights, wine, and vinegar.

 

Ennoshita was awoken by the sound of obnoxious slurping and silverware clanking loudly. He peaked an eye open. The candle he had been watching was completely out, but somehow the room was lit.

A voice came in fuzzily from his left. "Ennoshita, you awake?" He couldn't quite make them out as his mind still felt cottony with sleep.

"Let me sleep, Daichi," He mumbled, burying his face in his elbow.

He got a snort in response. "I wish. Have you seen his biceps?" The laughter filling the room afterwards fit perfectly into the hole in his heart.

_It couldn't be._

He lifted his head slowly as his heart came to a stop. There, sitting perfectly in front of him, was Tanaka, holding a half empty bowl of soup, downing a spoonful without a care in the world. Ennoshita could do nothing but stare. Tanaka looked back at him with a toothy smile.

"Hi there," he finally breathed after a million silent moments, placing the bowl down on the counter.

Ennoshita felt his throat close in on itself as his heart collapsed at the same time.

"Tanaka," Ennoshita gasped in disbelief, getting up and approaching the knight in a daze. He didn't dare touch him, afraid he'll disappear into his nightmares, leaving him crumpled in sweaty sheets. He stared as Tanaka lifted his hand, softly gripping at his shoulder.

"I told you I'd come back," he said shrugging, fingertips brushing along his neck. The gentle touch broke Ennoshita, and like always, like he was always meant to in every life time, in every version of every universe, he fell apart- straight into Tanaka's arms.

He gripped at the rough fabric of Tanaka's shirt, sobbing loud, horrifying, cries into his shoulder, his relief releasing itself into his tears. Tanaka, on the other hand, held him just as softly as before. That just made Ennoshita cry harder, feeling a little less embarrassed as a few stray tears fell down his neck when Tanaka buried his face there.

"You- you- you," Ennoshita tried to speak. He instead swallowed a breath of air too quickly and let out a series of choked sobs.

"I'm here," Tanaka whispered back, rubbing at Ennoshita's skin, in small circles that sent a warmth flowing down to his toes.

I know, you idiot, Ennoshita wanted to say, but it came out as a jumbled mess as he tried to compose himself. How could he? Right underneath his fingertips was Tanaka. It didn’t seem real.

When he finally did get it together, Ennoshita lifted his head from its position to look Tanaka in the eye. He found him staring just as softly as his touch. Ennoshita froze, their close proximity sinking in. He played with Tanaka’s shirt as the knight looked at him expectantly.

“I made you soup!” He finally blurted, eyes wide and still a little watery. Tanaka eyed the empty bowl, raising an eyebrow as to say yes I noticed. “Every day,” Ennoshita clarified. “I made you soup every day.”

He watched Tanaka’s eyes widen, realizing how ridiculous the two of them must have looked, standing there huddled close, staring at each other. He smiled in spite of himself.

“Oh, um, Ennoshita. I- I-” Tanaka began, but Ennoshita cut him off.

“I mean, I would’ve anyway cause, ya know my recipe sucks,” he said, smile growing. Tanaka ducked his head down and let out a chuckle. “Was it any good this time?” Ennoshita asked the tiny sprouts of hair on the top of Tanaka’s head.

Tanaka finally looked up at him again and, goddamn, the sun had nothing on his smile.

“Yeah,” he said, eyes still watery. “It was perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments. I'm sorry this is quite later than I would have liked to post, but school started up and stuff, hopefully the next chapter will be up quicker.
> 
> Title Inspiration comes from an old Bengali song.

**Author's Note:**

> Title Inspiration: [Swallowed in the Sea](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxpOki7dfeE) by Coldplay


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